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Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Right One For You!

Magella the Magellanic Penguin
Peninsula Valdes

Thank you for your mail dated 19 November. We are glad to assist in your search for your soul-mate.

In fact, we have a few very eligible guys on file, and would be glad to link them up with you once we get your profile testing done.

But, seeing that you are my first client from Argentina, I am more than happy to give you a little preview...

You may be aware that there is a huge colony of penguins in Punta Tombo, which is near to you. Well, not near enough to walk, certainly, if someone were to drive north for an hour from Puerto Madryn, they would reach your place, right? Well, if they were to drive south for 2 hours from Puerto Madryn, they would reach Punta Tombo!

Punta Tombo is home to the biggest colony of Magellanic penguins. You really should check it out! Even if you don't find a mate immediately, it is always nice to penguin-watch.

Penguins exploring, exchanging and entertaining. And there are many more in the suburbs incubating their eggs too!

The guy I have in mind for you is currently in between jobs, but have no fear! He is relatively well-of after his performance in the hit movie 'Happy Feet'. A smart penguin, he put his income to good use by investing shrewdly, so he does have enough to keep his tuxedo on.

I'm attaching a few videos of Penguin Nice for your reference. Oh, do take note that his name is pronounced 'Neese', like that city in France, not 'Naice'.

Pen Nice is a lover of nature. He especially loves the sea.

Nice is also a natural leader amongst his mates, always the first to dive right in!

Pen Nice is one of those penguins who knows his rights, but is fairly non-confrontational. He bides his time till the right moment, then he makes his move.

Of course, I would be doing you a great disservice if I did not first highlight to you one of his greatest faults. Nice, while a truly nice penguin, does sometimes let his mind wander just a little too much. And that is why sometimes accidents happen.

But, Magella, even without the profile-testing we usually do, even without having to put both of you together in one of our gala dating events, I know deep in my heart that you and Nice will hit it off perfectly.

Eyeing the next big wave...

You two will make a wonderful couple. I just know it!

Yours Sincerely,
Ada Wong
The Dating Loft


Tunster said...

ah ADA, i also would like a penguin. Can you hook me up too...i pay in cash. Awww what the heck lets get one for michelle too. Make that two penguins.

But please bill her for her penguin.

Better to set expectations right before Ma*****e.


Tunster said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tunster said...

adoi, forgot she reads this blog too....i am such deep yogurt....

Dannie said...

Dear Tunster,

Please note that The Dating Loft is a reputable dating agency that is accredited under the SDU Trustmark.

We do not sell penguins.

Also, and this is a personal opinion, I think you are a sick, perverse human, to even think of such a horrid 4-way human-and-bird tryst!

Thank you.

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