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Sunday, May 31, 2009

Slaying the Monster (Part 1)

When Evil befalls us, when the night is at its darkest, that is when the courage of men (and women) will shine brightest.

We were relaxing in our nice cottage in the city of Stowe when we heard a clamor of cries for help from the neighboring town of Waterbury.

"Help us!" The men cried. "There's an monster made entirely of ice-cream that we cannot conquer!

"Help us!" The women cried. "This monster contains at least 7,000 calories! That's 7,000 chances of being one calorie too much for our health!"

Being the brave souls that we were, we agreed to help the poor citizens of Waterbury to look into this menace.

This is what we found out:

The monster is called the Vermonster, an evil concoction created by the sorcerers Ben 'Coldheart' Cohen and Jerry 'Grimfield' Greenfield.

This Vermonster had the following weapons and powers at its disposal:
- 20 scoops of ice cream
- 4 bananas
- 4 ladles of hot fudge
- 1 giant brownie
- 3 cookies
- A smothering layer of whipped cream
- Mini M&Ms
- Oreo cookies
- Gummi bears
- Rainbow sprinkles

Truly an evil beast!

Well, being brave doesn't mean being stupid. We were not about to try to tackle this Vermonster without some sort of plan. So, we made a journey to the Oracle.

"Oh great Oracle of D'ough!
Help us understand, help us know!
How can we slay the Vermonster,
For, if need be, my wife will sacrifice her sister!"

The twin-headed Oracle peered intently at us, and in a silky voice, purred.

"Sacrifice, I do not need,
But others' advice, you must heed
A visit to the Graveyard is on your charts,
Hurry on now, or you'll smell my farts"

Heads bowed in acknowledgement and gratitude, we hurried along to the graveyard...

(to be continued)


merchant corner said...

yes you an capture it alive 'cause the only way to capture it is by throwing tranquility bombs while it is trapped in a shock trap or pitfall trap

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